In the text about if it is possible to be a perfect mother and at the same time an outstanding professional, I said I would be back to the topic. Not only because this was a very hard thing for me, leaving me guilty for not being “a good mama” for my daughter, but also because I see it is a topic that still concerns mothers all around the globe.
Recently I was sitting at a table surrounded by wonderful engaged women and suddenly I heard some of them talking about single motherhood. And how hard and tough are the demands of society on single mothers. Even worse when single working mothers.
Then I mentioned what I wrote here in my blog, which was a big dilemma for a long time in my life. I told these enlightened women that I no longer felt guilty because now I knew I did the best that I could at every moment of my life. I knew I might have failed in some moments as a mother, in other as a professional, but I was aware, I had done all I could.
One of the women, also a single mother, said she was driven by her priorities. Once you have a child, they are your priority. But once you are the only breadwinner, this is the highest priority, because without it you don’t have how to feed your child.
For me, she put in clear words the solution of this excruciating dilemma for thousands of single mothers: at every moment of her life, she has set priorities. Priority number one was most of the time the breadwinning task because it would be only possible to deal with the other priorities when this first one was accomplished. Sometimes the child was the priority, for example, when sick.
The ways each one chooses to accomplish the mother of the priorities can vary from person to person, and no one can ever judge this. No one knows what goes on inside every mother when she is forced to take decision A or B.
I was named many not nice adjectives because of my choices. By many people, inclusive very close ones. Even my daughter had confused feelings and used to tell me I could have made it different. Now each one who in the past doubted I could reach something with my choices bends to my achievements. And we live in peace now.
But the most important I got this year at Mother’s Day dinner with my daughter: she finally forgave me, showing fully comprehension that I really could not have done it differently.
I am a very happy and blessed human and mom.
#singlemotherhood #singlemother #singleworkingmom #singleprofessionalmother #strongwomem #powerfrauer #powerwomen #besupportive #greatwomen